


Reasons Why

by MeaninglessWords



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Drabble, F/F, MeaninglessWords, Pining, jj is keeping it locked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:54:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27973343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeaninglessWords/pseuds/MeaninglessWords
Summary: Everyone has reasons for things. Some big and some small. Some real and some imagined. Holding onto these reasons is, most times, why people decide not to do things. Sometimes it is just easier to not do anything because it is easier to deal with what you already know rather than the unknown. Almost like being stuck but with the answers to get out just terrified to use them.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Reasons Why

Everyone has reasons for things. Some big and some small. Some real and some imagined. Holding onto these reasons is, most times, why people decide not to do things. Sometimes it is just easier to not do anything because it is easier to deal with what you already know rather than the unknown. Almost like being stuck but with the answers to get out just terrified to use them.

This is exactly where Jennifer Jareau was, standing in front of the bathroom mirror whispering to herself _‘I love her, it’s the truth but at least I know I can hide it, I’ve been doing it for years.’_ Almost like a mantra now, repeated before bed, in the bullpen and in bathrooms in motels and hotels across the country. Walls up, with guards, locked and secured. Always.

One last look before turning to the door was the silent prayer she needed before she walked back into reality. The reality where she was struggling to keep her pining behind lock and key in the very large space that Emily took up in her heart.

No one knew the truth. Not even JJ. Not until she walked into the BAU all those years ago, with her brunette locks framing her face just like a painting in a museum. For JJ, it was like time stood still. She felt like she was drowning but somehow, she could finally breathe.

Time has flown since then. Fast becoming the best of friends, sharing everything from hotel rooms to family secrets and harsh truths. Save for her most secret of confessions. That JJ was completely and utterly in love with the brunette who has taken up residence in her life like she had always been there. Something had just clicked. It was like magic. The universe had slotted together two puzzle pieces igniting a spark that was so blinding and fierce, JJ was sure it was just an illusion. Another reason why.

Emily wasn’t just the opposite of JJ. She was everything JJ wasn’t. Her life was a mixture of everything money can get you and a loneliness that no one should ever feel. JJ on the other hand, was just a girl who grew up in a small town where everyone knows your name but you are never truly alone. She had friends and family but her own share of trauma has been bottled up for so long she truly wondered whether it had happened at all. Another reason why.

She considered herself broken beyond repair. She might’ve been the communications liaison for the team but that doesn’t mean she’s any good at it in her own life. Barely able to communicate her feelings to herself let alone Emily. Letting people in is hard, what if they see the mess and run? What if they see the truth and just walk right back out? Another reason why.

So, when Emily is sitting in her spot on the couch wearing the clothes, she keeps at JJ’s for emergencies and she asks, ‘Why do you talk to yourself in the mornings? I can hear your voice, but I’ve never known what you’re saying.’

JJ freezes, puts her wine glass down. Her eyes start to water, her secret unleashed, free and floating in the bluest of oceans.

Focusing on dizzying array of shining browns swirling around in Emily’s eyes, grounding herself and says, ‘You’re the reason why.’

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing something, just plain drabble. All up in the feels. Any feedback would be great.


End file.
